I sense the restlessness in people almost everywhere I go - being lived by their work (or business), cellphones, social media, e-mail, text messages (SMS) - everything combined gives us an overload that most people are unable to deal with.

Let me tell you my story (in short)

And I certainly know what it is like to live that way. My boss used to own me back in 2006 and 3/4 of 2007 when he sent SMS messages in the evenings: ‘can you help me with this and that now?’ And I allowed this madness to continue for the most part of 2007. I work in the IT industry as a webdesigner and programmer and the high stress eventually got to me enough that I started looking for answers.

I used to be restless - I hardly ever felt at peace or at rest, stress coursed through my body and mind many times a day and I was supressing most of my feelings. I didn’t realize then that most people lived their lives that way. This was bad for my health as well.

I had started “seeking” about 2 years earlier, and stumbled across the best of the best in self-help and spirituality in 2006: The Sedona Method, NLP and Adyashanti (aka Steven Gray, American Zen Master). In the beginning it all worked beautifully well but along the way I got back in my ‘old’ ways; habits of the past took over once again in the middle of 2007. My mind was getting worried about the future, and was still struggling with issues from the past, and therefore I completely missed out on the present moment because I was covering it with all my thoughts and feelings. Back to square one again - but this time with a lot of experience and knowledge what to do about it. In September of 2007, the straw that broke the camel’s back was after a conference where we introduced one of our products. Afer that event I was so tired of it, that I took all of my combined knowledge and courage to break free from the slavery - I gave my boss two options: either there are clear boundaries between work and private life, or I quit now.

And surprisingly that’s when everything changed. My boss obviously had consciously no idea what he was doing to me and my collegues. The news came as a complete and total shock for him. People are often unaware of their behaviour because it is driven by your unconscious part of the mind. After that he did try to send some SMSes or call me a couple of times, but that all ended when I never replied and refused to pick up the phone. Things did improve after that and so I had no reason to leave. Fast forward to fall of 2008: the year went well and now I’m becoming an NLP Practitioner. Fast forward to summer of 2009: Just got started with my NLP based coaching business.

So how do you have peace?

Here’s something I realized  “Oh, I’m unable to have peace because I’m fighting with my thoughts and emotions most of the time. There’s no room for peace and rest because I’m occupying it by thinking and supressing emotions!”

Zen master Adyashanti once told a story about a young female child that was taken to a “Satsang” meditation session with her parents. She told Adyashanti that her parents often were engaged in trying to quiet their minds through meditation, and sometimes it worked and sometimes it had no effect. That’s when Adyashanti said to her: “Is the peace you’re searching for not already here now?” And then the child looked into the present moment - noticed the peace was indeed already there - and then stopped trying to find it.

So ask yourself the very same question: “Is the peace I’m searching for not already here now?” And then take an honest look in the present moment and notice that it already is here. Then you can relax and take that with you throughout your day.

That is the key lesson of this blog: stop seeking for it because the seeking literally keeps you away from it. Allow your thoughts and feelings to be here in the present moment. What do I mean with that? To stop struggling with them and to acknowledge that they are here. Most people are denying or struggling with their thoughts and feelings and therefore they go unconscious once again. Begin with allowing your thoughts to be here now, by asking yourself:
“When would I allow my feelings to be as they are?”

This will create an immediate shift inside. Then ask yourself:
“When would I allow my thoughts to be as they are?”

This too will create a huge shift inside. And then during the day, you can allow the entire world to be as it is without struggling against it. This means that you can still do your work, and interact with people and live your life - you are only taking the “reactive” part out of it by allowing things, people and everything else to be as they are. And if your mind is struggling with this, then allow that to be ok too - accept the struggle for allowing things to be as they are because that’s when the struggle disappears. And keep on breathing normally during this exercise - that will move the struggle out even more effortlessly. When you allow your thoughts and feelings to be as they are, you automatically have a relaxed body and quiet mind because that’s your natural state of being.

The peace you are looking for is already yours - when you stop searching for it. When you want to know more about this or have questions, then leave a comment or send me an e-mail: tom@freedomisfree.nl

With love,

Tom.